Wanted

Okay this is my new favorite song!!!  I love the melody for starters, but I also love what he says in it.  After recently reaching 12 years of marriage I can honestly say that this is one of the things I love most about my husband. I have always felt wanted.  There has never been a time when I've doubted his love for me or when I haven't felt that he wants me as much as he did 12 years ago. We truly are each others best friends and we prefer each others' company above anyone else. (My mom was teasing me that I chose to go on a girl's overnighter on our anniversary. That was an exception:)  We love being together, even if we're not doing anything but watching our kids. I love that we can lay in bed at night and talk for hours. I love that laughter between us comes easy.

The first few years of our marriage when Tanner would get home from work I'd pass the kids off to him and go make dinner and then finish tidying up the house and clean the kitchen, etc. He would always get so mad that I didn't want to just sit down and watch TV with him. It took me a while to realize that he didn't really want me to watch sports with him, he wanted me to be with him, to sit next to him on the couch and snuggle him.  I think that may have been a turning point in our relationship. As we've had more and more kids he understands that I spend half my day on the couch nursing so when he gets home I've got things to do. Instead of turning on the TV and relaxing he comes into the kitchen and either helps me make dinner or stands there with the baby while we visit. I love it. I don't have to ask to him to help, he just does. He wants to be with me and he knows that I want to be with him, but we've got a bunch of little people that need to be fed (constantly) and that means teamwork!

I hear other women complain quite a lot about their husbands and I've had conversations with others about how much they fight in their marriage. I can honestly say we don't fight. Ask my kids, they are brutally honest. They'll probably tell you how mean and horrible I am and they'll probably say I spank them "all the time!" but I doubt they'll ever say we fight. We just don't. It wasn't always that way, but after almost half our lives spent together we think alike, we reason the same, and we want the same thing. I really feel like we don't relate to other couples sometimes. And it goes both ways. Tanner will often come home from work or something where he's heard men talking about how their wives rag on them and complain about them and all he says is "Thank you for being awesome!"  He does a wonderful job of making sure I not only feel wanted, but appreciated. I hope my future daughters-in-law appreciate what a wonderful man Tanner is because my boys will grow up knowing how to treat a woman like a Queen. I hope Brynn will have the highest of expectations for everyone she dates and that she'll be able to find someone as amazing as her dad.

When I was a young mom I worried that losing one of my children would be a trial I couldn't endure. Even though I still can't imagine how painful it would be I've realized that I really couldn't bear to lose my husband.  Not only could I not handle being a single mom--and all the trials that kids have to endure when they lose a parent--I couldn't handle losing my best friend. Tanner's the one person I share everything with and the one who knows me as well as I know myself. He's the one I look forward to seeing at the end of the day and my favorite person to chat with. We've had a wonderful 12 years of marriage and I look forward to the rest of my life with him. When we're old and grey we'll be the couple that dies within days of each other because we can't live apart:)

JJ 3 months

My little Angel Babe is actually almost 4 months already. I finally get around to these pictures a couple weeks late, again, but I least I remembered. Jameson is so fun. He's so happy all the time and he's really starting to engage. He recognizes people and when he does he gives a big smile and gasp and wiggles his chubby little self. He's cooing and almost laughing. He had a double ear infection and I didn't even know it. I just thought he wasn't sleeping cuz he was stuffy from his cold. He's so sweet even when he's miserable. 

He still eats like crazy all the time. I nurse him every 2-3 hours but around dinner time I have to give him a 4 ounce bottle of formula. He is always soooo sad when he finishes it, so I usually let him nurse for a few minutes and then he's sad when that's gone too:) I think he was born without a shut-off valve. When I took him in for his ear infection he'd gained almost 2 pounds in 3 weeks!!! At 3 months he weighed 14.4 lbs. He's a heiffer! 

He loves to relax on anyone's lap and will usually be quite content there for up to an hour. He totally loves the kids even though they toss him all over the place. It doesn't bother him a bit. He loves to lay on the ground and watch football on TV. He's finally getting better about car rides and is learning to just give up and go to sleep instead of scream the whole time.

One of these days I'll get some pictures of the other kids at this age because I see a little of each of them in him. He's mostly a mini Sketty, but there are certain looks that are full of the other kids too. He's such a dream baby and we are so blessed to have him.

 this is his silly face when he's really squirmy and giddy

 JJ smiles all the time and is super happy

 he's beginning to kick like crazy anytime he's on his back

 Brynn took these last few and I love them. This is Jaymo all day

 This is my happy place. I love this guy like crazy!!! I love his big squishy cheeks and his burly arms. I love his silly smile and those big ole hands that are constantly grabbing my hair now. I love it all.

Drooling. All the time.

Avila Valley Barn

A few weeks ago Tanner had to work down in San Luis Obispo for a few days. We had told the kids we would be taking them out of school for trips during the school year since we didn't get to do much this summer. They were happy to oblige. We drove down after school on Wednesday and stayed for a couple days. Our kids absolutely love staying at hotels. Even if they aren't the most comfortable (or clean), as long as there's a pool and free breakfast they are happy as clams. 

Normally I don't mind too much but having a sick baby and not getting much sleep I was not super happy to be stuck in a hotel room with 5 children.  We can no longer fit in Tanner's work truck since there are 7 of us so we usually take 2 cars when we go places. The 5 hour drive down was MUCH nicer because of this. Tanner woke up early on Thursday and went to work and I took all the kids to the breakfast room by myself. I have to admit I haven't done a lot with all 5 kids on my own since JJ was born. When I walked into the lobby I felt like everyone stopped and stared at me. The whole time I was getting my kids food I could feel their stares. Annnnd, I heard all the comments. A bunch of old people who think they're whispering but the whole room can hear what they're saying. "Look at all those kids! She's gotta be Mormon. Nobody has that many kids at her age unless they're Mormon. At least her kids are well behaved. Mormons usually have pretty good kids...." That was just the first morning.

On the second day we stroll into the breakfast room and about a half hour later, after practically cleaning out all the food, I sat down to eat. A lady and her two teenage daughters got up to leave and she came up and said "Oh, I'm so glad to see you finally sitting down to eat. I was one of 10 kids and I swear my mother never got to eat a meal with us because she was always getting everyone whatever they needed. When you walked in I said to myself 'I want to see how long it takes her to sit down and eat her own breakfast'." Fortunately my kids were behaving well at breakfast (because they sure weren't the rest of the day) so the comments were more positive than negative. 

Let me just explain a little of the food consumption. This is mostly for my benefit because it feels like a tremendous amount these days, but I'm sure in 10 years when I have 4 BIG boys this will be practically nothing. Bryson had: a giant plate of waffles, a cup of yogurt, a cup of apple juice and hot chocolate, an apple and a muffin. The other kids ate (collectively): another waffle, two bowls of cereal, 3 muffins, 3 cups of apple juice, 3 cups of hot chocolate, 4 pieces of toast, 3 yogurts, and a bagel.  They were all STARVING an hour later. And two hours after that. I felt like all I did the whole weekend was feed a bunch of pigs!

Bryson has to do a California Mission project this year so after breakfast the first day we went in to town to visit a 250 year old mission. Then we walked around downtown and went back to the hotel to swim. I've been waiting for SLO's farmer's market since we were here over Spring Break. I absolutely love it. Its huge. Its crowded. Its crazy! But I love it.

My family lasted 10 minutes.

I was super bugged.

So the next day we went to Avila Valley Barn and they redeemed themselves. It is this darling little barn/orchard/pumpkin patch/country store/petting zoo. Its exactly what I want to have when I grow up. Super family friendly and cheap. Free hay ride out to the orchard to pick your own apples. Eat whatever apples you want when you're there. Pay 99 cents a pound for whatever you pick. So fun.

The kids had a blast and Tanner and I had a nice relaxing day with them. On the hay ride a little boy behind us said "Mommy! She grew LOTS of babies in her tummy!" Apparently we cause quite a stir wherever we go. 

 The most delicious thing in all of Avila Barn!!!

 this was super tempting but I was actually able to resist.

I regretted it on my long boring ride home though...